Whether you are a seasoned professional or a beginner the benefits of Positive Parenting can literally be life changing for you and your child!
Imagine your 3 year old getting themself ready and out the door on time without any arguments.
We’ve spent the better part of 10 months on this but after much thought and practice and the results are amazing. He’s like a whole different kid. When we first started we had tantrums and dilly-dallying and power struggles of him wanting ME to put his shoes on for him etc. Now we have our system and we’re out the door, no fuss!
5 Life Changing Benefits:
Greater Parent-Child Connection
Positive Parents act as a guide taking time to directly teach their children about practical life skills, values, growth mindset and work ethic. They provide opportunities to practice new skills and grow skills their skills from guided to independent. All of this time spent ins an invaluable gift and a legacy that your child will treasure forever (even if they don’t know it now).
Greater Parent-Child Connection-
Spending regular quality time with your child builds a stronger connection and a closer relationship. Children who regularly have time scheduled with their parents benefit exponentially from the experience. In general they are more secure and are able to confidently experience changes in daily life.
Confident independent children grow to depend on routines and often appreciate the stability. When they experience change they trust their needs will be met and demonstrate flexibility.
How do you feel when you overcome a challenge? Children who are given guidance and the personal space to work through life’s challenges and solve problems are often more successful than their peers. As a result of life experience children who overcome challenges often develop a greater sense of self esteem.
“The single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult. These relationships provide the personalized responsiveness, scaffolding, and protection that buffer children from developmental disruption. They also build key capacities—such as the ability to plan, monitor, and regulate behavior—that enable children to respond adaptively to adversity and thrive. This combination of supportive relationships, adaptive skill-building, and positive experiences is the foundation of resilience.”
Things may not happen immediately and that’s ok. It takes time more time to deconstruct a bad habit than it takes to teach a brand new one.
What is Positive Parenting?
I define a positive parent as someone who consciously chooses the lifestyle of raising their child in a positive way (using non-punitive discipline).
Positive Discipline is a lifestyle choice. It’s kind of like eating organic foods or being gluten free or choosing any foods to support your body in a healthy, balanced way. Positive Parenting is choosing a parenting style that is proactive and supports you as well as your child. This doesn’t mean that you have all the answers all the time and your child will never misbehave.
Positive Parenting by design helps guide your child(ren) through the challenges of learning about; life skills, responsibility, their natural course of development and nurture intrinsic motivation. It is sometimes referred to as Positive Discipline, however, I understand this title is more appropriate for teachers and other care givers & not parents. For example when I was a full time teacher I applied Positive Discipline strategies for my students.
There is a false precedent that behavior is “good” or “bad” and that simply isn’t conceptually correct.
Are there different kinds of Positive Parenting Styles?
YES, there are many parenting models that exclusively use non-punitive methods.
The most common: (in random order)
- Positive Discipline
- Attachment Parenting
- Gentle Parenting
- Detached Parenting
What are the differences between the parenting styles?
5 Criteria for Positive Discipline:
- Is Kind and Firm at the same time. (Respectful and encouraging)
- Helps children feel a sense of Belonging and Significance. (Connection)
- Is Effective Long-Term. (Punishment works short term, but has negative long-term results.)
- Teaches valuable Social and Life Skills for good character. (Respect, concern for others, problem-solving, accountability, contribution, cooperation)
8 Principles of Attachment Parenting:
- Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting
- Feed with Love and Respect
- Respond with Sensitivity
- Use Nurturing Touch
- Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
- Provide Consistent and Loving Care
- Practice Positive Discipline
- Strive for Balance in Your Personal and Family Life
4 Tennents of Gentle Parenting:
Take care to accept that things may not happen immediately. It takes time more time to deconstruct a bad habit than it takes to teach a brand new one.
let’s define some terminology:
Consciously working to raise respectful, responsible independent children using non punitive methods.
A system to mold character and prepare the child for self control. I do not know why the first uses in the English dictionary is more about order and control so I need to clarify this is NOT what I’m talking about.
Discipline is synonymous with parental guidance. Most children will misbehave, act-out or test boundaries when faced with a challenge that is overwhelming for them.
Another issue to consider is that and that once you’ve worked through a behavior (guided through positive discipline) it will never resurface.
Positive Parent: Beware! It will resurface (see behavior).
I look at behavior as a direct indicator of where you are (and how you are responding to life’s challenges).
Are you thriving? Overwhelmed? Need support? It is self conduct in it’s most basic and sometimes primitive form.
Personality tests can sometimes help provide more detail here but it is important to note that behavior always follows a pattern. Each child may have a different set of patterns but if you pay attention (or take notes) you’ll see that each individuals behavior follows a distinct pattern in response to.
I have taught and closely observed hundreds of children from all different backgrounds and age groups and 3 things I know to be certain:
1. Everyone has challenges they need to work through.
2. Everyone has strengths. Take the time to learn what they are & USE THEM!
3. Most children respond positively (cooperation, respect, increased work ethic for example) when you take the time to get to know them.
Positive Parenting is the most effective parenting method I know.
I have used it in my 10+ years teaching on hundreds of children from different family backgrounds and different personalities.
Positive Parenting Tools: